the dance of the ink riddled fingers

“Falling in love” is only easy in movies.

Posted in how was your day?, thought spills by enisea on 15/01/2010

I’ve moved through Lately via dancing through movies. I just realised, like, just realised – about a sentence ago – how much movies that bore me, interest me. Take for example: Up!.  I didn’t find it all too captivating, though reports from everybody else could have had me anticipating my most exquisite, unimagined dreams in animation. However the fact that it didn’t tickle my fancy, fascinated me, because apparently it should have… So why didn’t it? I watched The Princess and The Frog and found it, satisfactory. I remember liking the second half more than the first. And Shaolin Soccer, had me in uproars! Yet if I watched it again, I’d have to force my cackle and then wonder how I liked it so much the first time.

It feels as though I’ve been living through movies, and discovering myself (sad as soap) through the indirect. The things that don’t interest me now interest me simply because I wonder why it is I’m not interested.

Funny that.

Tonight Emmanuel told me I was good with kids and as I played with his, he asked how many I would ask God for. I laughed. The number 7 made an appearance in my mind, not because I’m crazy but because it’s an unusual number and one I joked in a conversation years prior.  I replied I needed first find a boyfriend, then husband. I didn’t say it out loud, for prevention of ridicule and joke. He insisted I could “book them early” and could skip the boyfriend part and go straight to husband.  He was funny and gentle, has a beautiful wife with a beautiful laugh and three beautiful children who warm to me.  I don’t know why that conversation made me sad. But it did. I’m not liking returning to such conversation every other day. Make it stop please.  Why does my parent’s generation insist on harping upon the singleness of the twenty-somethings as if it were a curable disease?


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