the dance of the ink riddled fingers

i haven’t had much to say lately.

Posted in how was your day?, thought spills by enisea on 04/03/2010

A scar has begun to shield the pain from where I burnt myself on the side of my face with the curling iron on Sunday. I decided not to pursue a friend a few days ago –  but realised that that decision didn’t really decide for me.  I worked 9am til 4:30pm yesterday to confirm a little more the job that is still yet to be absolutely confirmed. Today, I discovered Angus And Julia Stone and find them beautifully folk, whimsically reminiscent and perfect for my empty head.  I finally had a day free today to myself for which I had scheduled to catch up on many plans and ambitions I had begun to prepare and needed to continue preparing, only to find my mind numbingly thoughtless. I had to FIND things to think about, and felt totally content being thoughtless, sitting for half an hour at a time and then wondering how I’d done that without thinking. Having a morning shower but not remembering having thought about anything except washing the shampoo and then conditioner completely out, without getting it in my eyes. Reading the weekend paper and giving myself completely to the article I read on internet predators. Watching television for two hours and not being preoccupied. Eating chickenwings with sweet chilly sauce and wondering if there was any more food.  Eating into triple digit amounts of pistachio nuts, making second nature of snapping the shells open. I feel as if only one thought at a time has been allow reign over today’s thoughtless self.

And if I weren’t so ashamed of wasting time, I’d tell you immediately that I’ve found this trance like blur and absence of busying myself absolutely wonderful!

Let me share Angus and Julia Stone with you. somehow this song is exactly how brilliant I feel right now, with smile, and without a “you” to be wasted on. Today is breathing in forest fresh awe and sighing out appreciation for being alive and taking the time to admire my hands and wonder how God made them so useful! Somehow business seems minuscule right now. It is not urgent enough. My mind is blank.


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