the dance of the ink riddled fingers

unafraid of rejection

Posted in how was your day?, pin the tail on the love, thought spills by enisea on 21/11/2010

I’ve only applied for one job so far, meaning I’ve only received one rejection letter so far.  It wasn’t a huge surprise. Terribly enough, I would’ve been more surprised having received notice of an interview. I’ve one more exam and an indefinite number of job applications to fill out.  Yet urgency has not yet befallen me… this happens every time.

Anyway, heard on 89.9 light fm (a Christian radio channel) a talk-back conversation with the topic “what’s a Christian girl to do when the Christian guys around her are timid about dating?”. I laughed, and then listened.  It was good. I had formed my opinion by the time the line had been closed – it was pretty much formed before this, but it was a good solidifying and condensing of my beliefs into an answer.  I chuckled and agreed to a couple of opinions and frowned to one. So here it is, my response which I was happy to call up with except I didn’t know the number and they closed the lines by the time I did. Haha! So maybe I wouldn’t have spoken as coherently, I’ve had a little more time to work out a “literarily prettier” response…

Ahem.  Agreeing with the handful of people who firstly mentioned just focusing on God – I hold to the promise that if I were to seek first the Kingdom of God, all these things (everything I earnestly need and want) will be added to me; reiterated also in the Psalm 37:4 “delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”.  Now those promises include intimate relationships, among many other blessings.  Be it old-fashioned, I don’t think it is the woman’s job to initiate the relationship.  Seeing as it is biblical that the man be the head of the house, he must take on a leadership position – from day one.  Therefore I’m banking on never having to ask a guy out.  Now whether there are no prospect single men in the church “Juls” attends, a few or many, I don’t believe there is ever a valid cause for ‘church hopping’ in the hopes of finding a companion. Goodness knows it takes the ‘God’ intention out of church and confuses direction.  Churches, although “one body” are individually unique and have differing bodily functions.  Every church has the same purpose but a different direction and to skip all over town in and out of different churches not only weakens the depth of being ‘planted’ in a house, but the calling God intended for Juls in her particular church is given second priority to her desire for a husband.  By all means, if God called her to another church, up and go!  But there should never be any reason other than God saying so, for moving churches. Family should be non-negiotiable… and church is family.  I’m not even going to bother addressing dating somebody who does not understand your motivation for life and the passion you live for – it is a painful compromise where you cannot be completely yourself as they would not understand it or it would irritate them or both (and why would you do that to yourself… and them? And for what? An incomplete emotional or physical comfort?).  Also, God knows better than us, what we want and need in a relationship.  So trust Him. And pray. Praying washes the pray-er in assurance and peace – and commiting anything to God means, in consulting him you allow him to shape that desire so that come the time when the said desire is to be processed and fulfilled, there is an extraordinary ‘fit’ about the nature of the person who slots into that former void.  Lastly, when the man is ready, he’s ready.  Like an earlier caller mentioned, he won’t be able to keep himself from pursuing you (appropriately).  So sit tight, don’t be distracted, focus on God and He’ll provide for you like He always does.  Anyway this notion of companionship in context, although wonderful, is not ‘forever’ (seeing as “the two shall become one flesh”, and the flesh does not carry into eternity. See also Luke 20:27-37).  Therefore, unlike Salvation, marriage is not a life or death situation and therefore should not govern your faith, which is.  So Juls, don’t fret, don’t chase, and don’t get frustrated over the lack of movement in the Christian single community.  Right now, God needs your eyes, ears and heart receptive to Him. He is the ultimate romantic, true story.


"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Songs of Solomon 8:4

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