the dance of the ink riddled fingers

New Year’s Evolutions

Posted in thought spills by enisea on 03/01/2011

So, if for some reason you’re not remotely excited about this new chapter of 2011, I can tell you plainly it is because you have not hoped high enough!  I, on the other hand, have taken my hopes to a dangerously ambitious level!

This year, will hopefully be the most productive year I have ever lived…moreso than the rest of my life combined.  Who the heck has the nerve to say that, except I.  I will not read you my seven resolutions for the new year (the fact that it was a holy amount was purely accidental) because they have no relevance to you.  This year, I am hoping to evolve, as I hope is your hope also. Insufficient is my current capacity to love: my family, my old friends, my new friends, my children, my church, the church and the world.  If I want my boat to continue to float on the unpredictable tides of life, having more people crammed onto my tiny deck, cargo of mine needs hauling overboard. Many things in my life that could disintegrate into nothing, take precedence over people when they really ought not to!  My boat will soon sink if I don’t quickly pull into safe harbour, demolish some old, worn holding areas and rebuild them with greater and stronger capacities.  I suppose I want to be some sort of Mother Teresa.  I know I am not for my name is not Teresa, nor is my call, hers.  But my life isn’t for myself alone. I cannot live only for myself…when I do, it’s so unsatisfying.  Nobody can.  Many do.  But life lived for oneself alone is life with little legacy…not that legacy is the goal. The goal is a bettered humanity, singly achieved through the ever cliché, increasingly rare, love.  Only love (or lack thereof) causes people to impact the lives of others.  Where there is lack of love, destruction of others and (indirectly but ultimately) self destruction leave a mess of corruption, poverty and the opposite of peace.  When people live selfishly (like is usual and acceptable in nations of complacent and dissatisfied wealth): when they work only to earn money for themselves, spend money only on themselves, live only for themselves and still not have enough… it is then that their lives are pointless.  Selfishness is pointless.  This rubbish about selfishness as self-preservation is a lie – your wealth does not care for you, it never will.   One’s possessions and wealth are not proportionate to how much they are loved, or how long they keep. One of my first posts on this blog was the quote: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose” (Jim Elliot, October 28, 1949): translated into layman’s terms, it’s wise to use perishables (keyword: generousity) to gain friendships.  Generousity wins people.

Tell me which monumental figures of history spent their little lives living individually…very, very individually.   None.  Exactly.  Passion is lacking nowadays, and if not lacking, is simply very, very misplaced. Who am I to judge where passion is right or where passion is wrong?  But may I just say that I personally I find it unhealthy to have a hyperventilating obsession with one other person – be they fame monsters (lady gaga), young talent (bieber) or brilliant people (helen keller) – especially because people are flawed and disappointment is inevitable… or worse… “justifiable”.  Haha, I can see someone turning directly to me and asking if I was a hypocrite for being passionate about the person of Jesus Christ…yet concerning the perfect human being and one so driven on teaching this deprived world how to love sacrificially, in parable and by example – to the point of death and defying it, I think my liking of Him is warranted…  and why I find buddhism so intolerable.  Heck, Nirvana is a pretty void state to be in, it just means the buddhist to experience enlightenment is at a state of ‘the extinction of greed, hate and delusion’…a sort of nullification or numbness of oneself despite the rest of the world still writhing in turmoil.   That cannot be everybody’s purpose, to no longer be affected by suffering…as according to the example of Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha) via meditating under a tree.  It is not in fact an end to suffering, it is the numbing it… that irks me, and hardly helps the world, merely appeasing ‘he who reached Nirvana’ by somehow stripping him of the guilt felt for the rest of humanity and with it, responsibility for rebuilding it.  The Buddha’s final words are reported to have been: “All composite things pass away. Strive for your own liberation with diligence”.  That, to me, is so far from truth or love.  Plus, he left his wife and newborn son… I don’t agree in leaving your family even if to figure out meanings of life – none of this “eat, pray, love” rubbish.  The meaning of life is important, yes…but so is your husband/wife/children!  I honestly doubt you’ll find all your answers to life by abandoning everyone!

I digress. What was I talking about? Love, life and passion.  Living, loving and doing both passionately.  So aside from the metaphorical and fantastical, I cannot afford to spend my days or half days glued to a computer or television screen…as I so overindulged in 2010.  I don’t doubt that learning the practice of love or the revelation of truth will be without excruciating growing pain… you’ll hear about it, I’m sure!  But nobody lives well without love. We crave it.  Therefore you cannot live on your own, in solitude, it does not make for one of sound mind.

I don’t mean offense to anyone…but I probably have offended at least someone.  If a buddhist could please explain to me the crux of buddhism and correct me on how it is not self-revolving, I implore you do so.  As is, I think Mother Teresa helped the world more than Buddha… and if beautiful her helped thousands out of her love and obedience to another, I’d say that ‘other’ was worth investigating.  Haha!  Could I get any more biased!  My arguments are probably nullified. I suggest coming to your own conclusions about the religions you don’t believe in. Hmm, I may have made mine about buddhism rather obvious…

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One Response

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  1. enisea said, on 15/01/2011 at 1:52 PM

    Ok, so I’ve been approached about how offensive this might be.

    So why is it everyone’s allowed to question and challenge Christianity… but it’s so much more offensive when somebody challenges another religion, for example, Buddhism? People tell me how stupid and hypocritical Christianity is all the time. Yet I don’t get offended, actually I love it when they do – gives me a reason to question them back.

    Ask questions. Offend people. Same thing. Understanding doesn’t come easily.


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