the dance of the ink riddled fingers

faith, hope, love, insecurities, and cravings.

Posted in 52 pickup by enisea on 10/01/2011

I’m supposed to write an article on “Faith. Hope. Love.” but right now, that’s not what feels real. Not to say that when I can’t feel it, it doesn’t exist… but it’s much harder to write about what one feels feeble about.  Having said this, however, to conjure a piece from the depth of who you are because you were required to dig that deep to find something workable (since there was not enough overflow to skim a story off the surface of a circumstance or situation), is wonderful.  Mm, my sentences are getting too long again – but because two of my favourite authors often patterned long sentences (C.S. Lewis and “The apostle” Paul), I’ll say to you critics, “bite me”.

You know insecurity when you stare at the mirror for half an hour and don’t know what you’re trying to find, when you see pretty people and envy those whom the multitudes adore.  When you open the bible and not read it because you remembered other things to think about. Ahh, I’ll wake up tomorrow and feel better about a new day, but gee tonight’s not the hottest night this summer.  This is what happens when I don’t see God in the morning, my day has a hightened potential to be horrible.

Faith. Hope. Love.  The order is very particular.  It is with the assurance of faith that we can dare to hope and with both faith and hope, choose to love confidently.  For who can love without hope – would you love if it were hopeless? Who can love without the faith in it being beneficial… that it could and will achieve something?  So then, you who believes in no religion yet believe in love.  Where did you get your faith in love?  What gave you the idea that love was beneficial and something to be hoped in, hoped for? Rather, who loved you so you knew what it was?  Can anyone know the definition of love, having never been acquainted with it?  What is complete love?  If someone you loved left you, stopped talking to you, just stopped loving you… would you still love them?  Is your love free so long as your lover returns love freely?  Could you love if they would not love you?  Does love change a person?  Does love change you? And what does the absence of it leave you with?

I crave all three of these: faith, hope and love.
I have amounts of all of these in great amounts… but I’m a little greedy, I still want more.


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