the dance of the ink riddled fingers

if conversations were stock, i just received a generous dividend.

Posted in heroes of mine, how was your day?, thought spills by enisea on 14/01/2011

I wanted to capture him against the night sky tonight.  Despite my disagreements with smoking, I really wished I could have taken a photo of him sucking fumes out of his self-rolled, skinny cigarettes.  Something about the way he toyed with the smoke and then blew it into the night air as we skipped across shallow topics of conversation being conscious of the much deeper inferences, you might’ve heard the artful exhale as a melody of sighs.  Had I not self-regulated the inappropriateness of telling a guy only just acquainted two days ago “you’re beautiful”, I probably would’ve cultivated a stupid mess.  Here’s the thing, I’m not in love with him, I’m in love with everybody lately.  Watching people, hearing people and learning where they’ve come from, little by little, to me, is irresistible – regardless of whether we’re on the same page or not.  I adore humanity and our complex ability to be wretchedly ugly and unspeakably beautiful all in the span of one lifetime, or a day.  Not that any of today’s interactions were ugly – haha, I just often acknowledge our (humanity’s) horrible potential.

Thanks due to Ziggy, Miles, and Ricky for rich conversations today.  Perhaps I did or didn’t agree with everything mentioned, I still appreciated the honesty, the openness, the twitches of vulnerability and respect that you dealt me.  You made today different!  I love different.

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