the dance of the ink riddled fingers

no offence, but there’s been too much offending.

Posted in epiphany tiffany by enisea on 18/01/2011

The only reason anyone has for ever being offended, is by the perception that they deserve better.

I have to keep telling myself that, followed by harsh reminders that there’s very little I deserve . 

I have popular friends, and sitting with one of them tonight was nice because we hardly do so anymore… despite their phone having a bit of a spasm – messages, calls, and many of them.  I kept telling them it was alright to take that call or reply to that message.  Who was I to complain?  I had the opportunity to sit with my popular friend and enjoy pancakes over conversation.  And really, it’s probably a miracle that they’re still my friend because they have had ample occasions by which to be offended by me, since people deserve a particular standard of friendship once “I love you and I mean it” has been exchanged – and many a time, my interpretation of “being loving” was retarded and skewed.

I’ve had this awful feeling, of late, that people have been seeing me for who I am, that these disgusting rots within me are not so much hidden inside but have surfaced.   Sometimes, most times, I’ve been so opinionated, so uncompromising, that even my closest friends would put of telling me things because they’ve feared I’d judge them or wouldn’t approve.  Why am I so horrible? Ugh. Patience please!


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