the dance of the ink riddled fingers

eat a spoonful of cement and harden up

Posted in 52 pickup, handfuls of ambition, how was your day? by enisea on 15/06/2011

At the dawn of an incredibly hectic weekend of exciting new experiences, I find myself wanting not to lighten the load of heavy obligation.  Alas, I’ve conjured up yet another ridiculous justification for laziness: using the brink of illness not as an excuse but an escape (what a sick idea of escape – pardon the pun). 

“Eat a spoonful of cement and harden up”, this has been the witty quote to dance around my laziness, my lack of diligence, poor endurance and pathetic perseverance, ever since my mentor wrote it down for me (in reply to my cry for sweet sympathy and sugar-coated encouragement).  I find self-inflicted ‘hardships’ glaring menacingly at me – but they’re not really hardships, they’re responsibilities.  I’d liken my responsibilities to vegetables.  Good for me, very good for me, nutritious for strengthening my character… and much more enjoyable and beneficial when fresh than a few days old.  I like vegetables, or at least the thought of them.  I find them representative of health, which I’ve only really begun to appreciate the last few months.  I’m still learning to incorporate it abundantly into my daily diet of ‘life’ and force myself to eat it as pattern of healthy lifestyle.

And money. The last couple of months has seen me live comfortably for the 3 days after payday and then sparsely for the remaining 1 and a 1/2 weeks til the next payday.  And there’s also time.  I use it leisurely and then BAM, when I need it the most, I have it in the least… sort of like how today unfolded, leisurely and enjoyably and self-indulgent. I ran a few errands today and went shopping for two hours- which I don’t regret, but consequently have now positioned myself for a poorer week and a half! Eat a spoonful of cement and harden up.  Now at 8pm, my eyes begin to droop and I’ve not started any sort of prep for the next week – for which there is muchEat a spoonful of cement and harden up.  Righteo, now for writing that article I forgot I needed to write for the local paper and then a small insert for a Integrated services newsletter and then evaluations and plans for both sessional groups and portfolios for at least 5 children (yesterday I said I’d do 15…), ahh, and I need to organise my involvement this Sunday for kids. Eat a spoonful of cement and harden up.  Looks like I’m not going to the Saskwatch gig tomorrow night. I’m really looking forward to the weekend, and responsibility-wise, I’m really apprehensive about it. Eat a spoonful of cement and harden up.

Parent-teacher interviews begin on the Monday, essentially for the whole day, as is Wednesday and the following Monday. I’ve got 38 slots filled at the moment, I’m expecting 40 interviews out of 50 kids.  It’s going to be interesting and draining. Eat a spoonful of cement and harden up.  Bite me, Sympathy, I’m better off without you…(wait, I don’t mean that, hold me later).  But tonight, your embrace won’t help me accomplish anything.

Now, where is that spoon, that cement powder and those old vegetables?


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