the dance of the ink riddled fingers

18 months remind me of 7 years

Posted in how was your day?, thought spills by enisea on 16/06/2011

I suppose I really want to draw attention to the fact that I really appreciate being read.

I’m astounded.  People actually come here, more than I dreamed they would.  Eighteen months since beginning this latest literary leakage, I never imagined I’d be 50 views shy of 10,000.  Whhoooaaaa!  Haha, it’s probably not that big a deal – it really isn’t. But comparatively, the first blog (which lived to the age of 5) probably totalled about 20% of that.  So I’m feeling pretty big right now!  Thanks for skimming.  It feels good to be read.

And here is where I allow memory to bring me back to when all of this started.  I don’t know what it was that inspired me to choose a nonsensical blogspot url and write the rainbow of an abundantly excitable fifteen year old. Wait, I think I remember who it was: it was Jasmine – she inspired me, she made me want to be as thoughtful, clever, and well versed as her – but I knew I would never find myself on parr with her eloquence and understanding and so I was satisfied being an insane flying kid of ridiculous excitement.  I was young, I was incredibly naive, I had sheltered myself, and I just wanted to tell somebody how much I loved life – I was just too indecisive regarding who that somebody(s) was/were, and so simply put myself out ‘there’. 

In a way, I lacked courage to talk to a face, I was too shy to bare my soul to anyone is particular.  I wrote embarrassingly unbarred, permitting my naive vigour and broad passion to highlight and colour the days I would retell.  Haha, I began to write ‘out loud’ in 2005.  I suppose the precursor to enjoying writing was, of course, reading; and nostalgia leads be back to my highschool library, when my before-, lunchtimes and after-school hours were spent engrossed in some fantasy book or another, anything with alternate realities and dragons and magic – these were my paper tickets to escape.  My imagination flourished and my imagery matured.  I stopped reading t’wards the end of year 8 when it was cooler to make friends with people than with books and because fantasy was beginning to consume me – unhealthily.  Hence I did what any sensible teenager would do, and neglected print… and that is where my English deteriorated to the point where reading climaxed at lengthy msn conversations of half-words.  So I owe it to Jas, (who I’ve long been out of touch with), for inspiring me to write.  Haha, oh the young days (it’s still young days) when I would flower my type to dress myself as elegantly and I knew how – but probably looked as much class as the 4 year old having self-applied lipstick. Ah, the days I would retell, the feelings I would try to understand – oh, too many feelings – I am too emotional.  I would imagine scenarios between strangers and I, how my first cigarette experience might transpire (if it ever were to), parables I imagined God would have used to explain things to me before revelations made sense, sides of the story I wanted those warring with me to hear (that I was spineless to verbalise), and how life was wonderful and how it was unbearably horrid at the same time.  I would sink into deep depressions and ride on seamless euphorias, simply to the syncopated rhythm of my fingers upon keys.  

One could reason that I haven’t travelled much further than where I began.  Only that now each post no longer dons 5 different font-types, 3 different font sizes and 4 different colours.  Now, being ‘more mature’, I find safety in correct spelling and black and white text. Though I admit these basics make me wonder if I’ve become dull.

But yes, bottomline message: Thanks for reading. Whoever ‘you’ is.

I know it's not like I'm a huge writer, but I think appreciation and thanking is appropriate for those big and small.
So here's a small thanks. "Thanks".
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2 Responses

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  1. Rach said, on 18/06/2011 at 1:03 PM

    Aww, I feel the love! I wish I had more friends like you who kept a blog, consistently, regularly. I want to let you know that your url is the first on my URL drop down menu that I don’t even have to bookmark it cos I know I won’t lose it :) and a space on the Web I incessantly check to see if it’s been updated! There goes Procrastinator Rachel :p

    Hahaha I think you have become far from Dull dear Nikki, you are anything but, so don’t fear that!

    I love coming back to your words, again and again, even at times when I feel like we are on different pages on life/faith/values. But it is comforting to know that you are still the same, and with all the passion in your words, always encouraging and urging us to strive for more in life and love

    U R ZE BOMB BOMB! x

  2. enisea said, on 18/06/2011 at 1:55 PM

    whooaaa, golden girl, you flatter me …and you’re a dag! why would you hold this place is such high regard!! hahaha, woman, you only bring me smiles. SHANKZ 4 ZE LUV!


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