the dance of the ink riddled fingers

i wasn’t at church because went to the market… and was asleep.

Posted in how was your day?, pin the tail on the love, thought spills by enisea on 18/07/2011

 

I went and manned a stall at Camberwell market yestermorning (got there at 6:30am with Estelle).  Made money and lightened an accumulated weight of many op-shopped clothes with a $200 profit (give or take).  Subtract the halvsies stall cost ($30), the sister’s profit ($25) and a few indulgent market purchases ($37), I have about $100ish to show for the 6-7 hour first-time experience.  But I missed 10am church for it.  Driving home at 2pm I was loosing the fight against heavy eyelids (having slept a whole 2 hours prior). So, after Mother wonderfully warmed up lunch upon my return… I hit the bed, hard.  Having set my alarm to wake me after a 2 hour nap in time for 5:30pm church, I stirred after a comfortable 7 hours and bolted upright with furrowed sigh and guilty groan.  Having crawled into bed with most of my winter clothes on, I awoke, overheated and easily threw off the doona and ran cumberly downstairs… wanting to (but knowing that I couldn’t) blame everyone in my house for not waking me, because now I had not gone to church all Sunday.

This threw me.  I have not missed church in who-knows-how-long.  Perhaps it’s been years.  Even on holidays, I’d find another church to attend if attending ‘home church’ wasn’t viable, be it in Queensland or Malaysia.  Anyway, I tried to have my own church – of course, with a lesser dynamic because it was only, well, me.  Strangely, having missed church, it made me think much more about it.  Why I go so frequently, why it is non-negotiable, what it means and how it helps me. I suppose the only way I can explain my remorse for missing my weekly routine of congregational assemblage is that I felt like I’d just missed a great big fun family reunion.  And as much as we do it weekly and I’ll see the bulk of the same people next week, I still wonder if I’d missed any great moments with amazing people.  Sure, one week might not matter too much, but I can’t help but wonder what opportunities or moments I missed out on.  Don’t worry, I’m not beating myself up over missing church or having my insides eaten out by cruel guilt of metronomic routine.  It’s not like I become a ‘bad Christian’…right? Hahahaha! I’m just saying it is quite a noticable portion of my week, because it’s heartening being around so many people who sort of love the same things, mostly; yet who aren’t predictably clones of the next person.  Just as much as if going to a comic convention meant that everyone was exactly the same and boring because they all liked the same gathering.  Just as comic conventions gather all plethora of different types of enthused individuals, so with church :)

After my make-shift ‘solitary bedroom church session’ (singing to a couple songs on CD and re-hearing a college retreat sermon), I decided to go unload the car. Here, I find my car driven into its usual spot in garage and pretty much everything unloaded nicely at the bottom to the right of the staircase!  Washed anew in smiles and sighs, I run into the lounge room and thank Dad for doing such a wonderful thing for me!  He’s been realllllllyyy lovely/loving lately!  He scrubbed our shower, hung up the load I’d thrown in the washing machine, cleaned all up after my baking episode with Sandi though I said I’d do it after, and didn’t bug me about the exploded mess all over the upstairs space pre-market, and just then unloaded quite a lot of stuff and placed it nicely, ready for me to sort.  Heh, his love language is quite easily Acts of Service – and I feel very loved by his helpfulness all week – without complaint or seeking acknowledgement or even without hint that he did all of this, I’ve had to ask who did it each time!  I am loved.  I feel spoilt.

On another note, the holidays are over, I have mixed feelings about this.  Mostly positive though.  I love that I like my job, and I like studying… I just wish I was better at both!

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2 Responses

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  1. Rach said, on 19/07/2011 at 4:12 PM

    What a sweet father you have :)

    • enisea said, on 19/07/2011 at 6:48 PM

      Oh he’s up there among my favourite people… now that I’ve begun to perceive his obscure ways of loving me. I love my gardening, handyman, DIY, rigidly organised, fisherman of a father. He’s worked hard all of his life, and for 22 years, I can assert it’s been mostly for me (shared of course with the sister and mother). It’s just a shame I only began to comprehend how sweet he’s been (beneath what I always thought was calloused character) within the last couple of years. A good God to give me such a good father.


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