the dance of the ink riddled fingers

i just died in your arms tonight

Posted in pin the tail on the love by enisea on 09/10/2011

I did not predict any of tonight’s events.  It wasn’t as though I entered the day with any sort of need – bar sleep.  I hadn’t even felt a lack or deficiency of love, so you can imagine my surprise when I was suddenly overwhelmed by the overflowing generousity of my family (and when I say family, I mean the closest sense of my church community) and the firm hold of loving hands to act as channels of healing for a hurt and a weakness I’d lately forgotten I had.

The fond replay of being yanked by the arm will sustain my smile for a little while yet.  That sort of unrelenting love that wouldn’t let a loved one walk away without an unconventional confrontation of expressed love.  Haha, I love this family. First, I was supported by two wonderful and passionate people who held me upright because suddenly my own posture was weak and all I could seem to do was receive love upon love upon lovely word and encouragement that they washed me in – I can’t even remember the words, only that it did a wonderful work of remedy, disposing of some rottenness I’d swept under the rug and tried to neglect.  And assuming that was the end of it, I proceeded to walk away from where I was; face, a little damp, feeling loved and comforted but still a little confused.  Undecided about where I’d walk to, just somewhere towards the back, I was rescued from my absentminded feet as my arm is seized and I’m suddenly drawn near another body to be lavished in loving prayer.  Being reasonably overwhelmed by this point, my reflexes weren’t immediate and by the time I had meant to identify my pursuer, I recognise her voice and found myself already firmly locked in her hold.  Almost immediately, my face is in my hands and I feel the warmth of a sisterhood at my back.

There, doubletap, the deed is done and doubt is dead. I was never any sort of trapped.

Hahaha, I didn’t even feel like I needed loving.  Hahaha, I was already feeling loved and like life was progressing at an extraordinarily exciting rate: dreams and ideas, new seasons, inspirations and fresh words, odd experiences, new people, old people, lovely people, dramas, small victories, new loves…and then POW, and with a laugh, HS nudges a hang on just a moment, I know you were feeling loved, but just to blow your mind… here’s a little more love, and a little more love, oh, and take that, over there, there’s more love, and let’s deal with that insecurity while we’re at it, surrounded by your family of strong and beautiful people.

Whoever said church was dull, boring and disconnected has no idea. I have so much love for this family, as much as they drive me mad sometimes, one time like this melts any frustrations of the past, combined.


3 Responses

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  1. saNdra said, on 11/10/2011 at 5:16 PM

    such a plesant read! =]

    we must catch up some time!!!!

  2. pixiedress said, on 12/10/2011 at 5:13 PM


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