the dance of the ink riddled fingers


Posted in 52 pickup, thought spills by enisea on 01/11/2011

I walked into the local supermarket to buy a couple of things, and stopped at an isle of books. I never buy books from supermarkets, but this time, I found myself looking at a book, and without thinking much about it, walked to the counter with it.  I was a little embarrassed, I wonder what the check-out-chic’s going to think when they scan this book through… they’re going to think I’m pathetic.  But I walked up to the counter anyway and lay the book on the counter, under a couple of groceries, hoping the lady serving me would be merciful in not commenting on my choice of reading.  She did.

“Hah! A toned tummy in fourteen days!?”
“Oh, did it say fourteen days? I didn’t even see that” (true)
“You know these supermodels and everyone on these covers aren’t real? You know they’re not like us, it’s not possible for people like us…”
Eyes flit instantly downcast, I smile politely.
“Well let me know how you go, come back and show me how you go with that.”
“Haha, umm… thanks”

Reading the first few pages I’ve wanted to scraw all across some parts of it in permanent marker.  The guy who wrote it has obviously made a living from the insecurity of many woman, and you can tell he’s having a field day.  I haven’t made it passed the second chapter. Haha, but I am now aware of alkaline foods versus acidic foods?  I bought it to save myself having to research or pay for personal trainers to draft up a strategy for me. I’ll just read some $19.95 book and hope that it, like the few other books I read can give me a few ideas in addressing the parts of me I think could be improved.

Why I’m telling you this? Not because I want to advocate insecurity, but because I don’t want to be ashamed of imperfection anymore, acting like I’ve got it together, when (although I’m getting there slowly) I really don’t yet.  I believe in healthy and gradual solutions, I don’t expect a flat tummy in 14 days, I want to be healthier and this is the most measureable part of my physique needing addressing (in my opinion).  I’ve been getting into practices to balance my spiritual, emotion and organisational parts of me that have needed an even weight.

This page, extracted from a wonderful little affirmations book titled It's not always black and white by Kate Knapp

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