the dance of the ink riddled fingers

he started it…(yesterday)

Posted in i like to music music, pin the tail on the love by enisea on 20/11/2011

For once, I’m at a loss for words. I cannot write what I don’t yet know how to describe, and I can’t describe what I don’t understand… and I do not understand this right now.  So I’ll just receive it and let the gravity of this new love teach me how to dance, write and live a new way.

He rang the doorbell at 9:20am yestermorning and talked with my parents.  Unbeknownst to them, I sat at the bottom of the staircase less than two metres away, smiling and in quieted laughter for the half an hour they spoke lovely things of me…

To be completely honest with you, I can’t quite put my finger on what it is I love about him, other than, well, loving him because he’s him…  And I really can’t understand why he’s so sure about me, because, well, I’m not so sure about me.  And I’m not fishing for compliments or accolades, I’m genuinely still stunned and a tad suspicious about what he knows or sees or loves.  Hahaha, while I was getting to know/love him, I thought I knew him pretty well, but now that he’s ‘mine’, it seems what I knew of him was a tip of an incomprehensible and very admirable iceberg.  Half the time I don’t even want to reply, because suddenly I don’t know how to.

Last night I told him about some horrid wave of uncertainty and doubt (about us); and unphased he told me firstly that he was sure about it 6 months ago (when it really only settled for me this last month) and then told me that he’d prayed over us and over again.  I still can’t seem to digest how amazing and assuring it is to have somebody more sure than I.  I’m usually pretty sure about things.  This new love has me way out of my depths!

So… This is D, he’s my boyfriend.

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4 Responses

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  1. Charlie said, on 20/11/2011 at 12:35 PM

    that’s soooo cool, big smiles, but probably not as big as urs =D

  2. saNdra said, on 20/11/2011 at 3:02 PM

    wahhh that brings a huge smile across my face!!!

    uncanny coz i’m semi reading your blog and tracy’s and writing my posts at the some time.
    heheh love is a funny one.

    all the best with a certain Mr. D. =]

  3. Rach said, on 24/11/2011 at 12:19 AM

    Awwwwww nikki! Shucks! You got me feeling all shy! Haha :p

  4. Tracy said, on 29/11/2011 at 11:08 AM

    Okay, I’m nine days late in replying to this, but here I am, telling you how happy I am for you. I should say something about love, but I don’t have the words for the way I start smiling when I think about him and I know you don’t need me to tell you because you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.


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