the dance of the ink riddled fingers

the wrong person

Posted in epiphany tiffany, thought spills by enisea on 27/01/2012

I always receive puzzled expressions whenever people meet me. It’s become rather harrowing and you’d have thought that even though everybody on the face of this planet has met the wrong person before, they wouldn’t still act as though they’ve never expected to meet me, as though they never expected to hear that it was the wrong person.  Don’t get me wrong, if not for drinking in their peculiar expressions of varied confusion, I probably would’ve drowned. It goes down a treat, with just the right amount of fizz, sometimes darker (heavy with licorice), sometimes lighter (fresh lemonade) – sometimes we laugh our separate ways, other times they crawl away in ruins… it all depends on the individual.  They look at me with the sort of eyes they say “I’ve met you before haven’t I, but I was sure you weren’t the wrong person…”

Yes, I’m the wrong person.

I’m exactly where you needed someone but not who you expected.  I’m the person who makes more mess where there is already mess; and I clean when everything is already clean.  I have great ideas when one’s already been decided and I’m void of decision where one needs to be made.  I’m wise words when you’re not listening and emotionally unbalanced at the same time you are.  I used to intrigue you, and somehow, you wanted to believe otherwise, and tried to change everything when I really didn’t like change.

People have been telling me for years, “you’re not the right person”, which I agree wholeheartedly with.  I’ve yet to meet a person who hasn’t been disappointed to meet me. Why is that?  I was the wrong person this whole time, and though you knew what the right person should resemble – stark contrast – you still went along wishfully thinking maybe you were wrong, maybe I wasn’t the wrong person.  You can’t change me now when you accepted me then – that’s inconsistent and unfair.

It’s a very curious notion, the above musing, and it’s a little darker than the usual, no doubt… with the same measure agreeable as disagreeable.  Is it possible to change the wrong person into the right person?  How much would you give to try to affect this change? And what would it take for you to realise it wasn’t going happen?

I think we find ourselves scanning our personal vicinities and identifying a person or few who mightn’t be right for us, but we seldom flip the question and evaluate whether we ourselves are the right person for them. Are you the right person for those around you? Are you the right friend, colleague, parent, student, husband, girlfriend, son, daughter, team player, leader, supporter? And whether it is or isn’t possible to turn another wrong person into the right person, is it at all possible to change yourself into the right person, if you’re not already?

I was wrong, I could be right.

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