the dance of the ink riddled fingers

confronted

Posted in epiphany tiffany, thought spills by enisea on 23/05/2012

This last week has confronted me with all manner of conducts of the arguably good and arguably bad.  My moral mind has been inundated with alarming shades of gray, without warning.  So it seems as though the present is as good a time as any to re-assess what moral I’d previously leaned upon, and how much of it really does require adjustment.  I’m not who I was 6 months ago, one year ago, three years ago… and the yardsticks I used to measure my life by have weathered much – some still standing, others barely, a few buried.

There is nothing stable enough to establish my life by, that I can think of that isn’t elements of unbalanced, misguided or selfish from every other source. The only solid, grounded and rather selfless statements of philosophy and practice I have found are from the Bible. And so, it would be non-sensical for me, having come to that conclusion, to starve myself of the stuff. For if I’m sure of it, why am I not more familiar with it than I am.

I’ve just bought the “Greater Melbourne 2012/2013 Entertainment Book” – a book of vouchers that discount the array of lifestyle indulgences one might engage in the name of entertainment and leisure. Now, although I bought it a few weeks ago, I assumed I needn’t look through it until July as it would only be valid then, as I knew the previous 2011/2012 book became invalid at the end of this financial year.  To my surprise, after a casual flick through the thick book (in search of junk food discounts – shame), I read Valid now through 1 June, 2013.  The sensible thought provoking me to explore the book’s contents was, “I need to know what’s in the book so I’ll know how it’ll benefit me; and I need to familiarise myself with the different outlets it applies to, so it can save me money in as many areas of my life”. But it was the profound transposition of this statement from The Entertainment Book to The Good Book that made me release an insightful “OHH!” [delete “money” from statement in transposition].

Mm, life is all over the place. And as honest, hard and wonderful as it is, I need an anchor, I need truth (don’t give me that “everything is relative, truth is interpretive” nonsense).  I need a steady, rock-solid, non-negotiable truth which applies to everyone (pretty or not) that is above the standard of colourful, unreliable, selfish humanity.  The gray areas get dealt with because I get dealt with through scripture. My motivations, my heart, my intentions were in the constant state of review and renewal when I was reading the Bible more regularly.  The Word was my most consistent reminder of how much I needed to get over myself, and how much (much more) I needed to live for others and to God.  It was confronting, but I liked that sort of confrontation better than those I’ve met with of late.  So, again with scripture, everyday.

I much rather be confronted by what I trust as truth than uneasy, unpredictable circumstances.

Funny how the very obvious things just don’t compute until, well, a considerable time later.

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