the dance of the ink riddled fingers

procrast…(will finish the word later)

Posted in 52 pickup, epiphany tiffany by enisea on 13/07/2012

Anyone else would think I had time and enjoyed doing other things, painting or fixing broken toys – but this habit of avoidance is ruining me.  Oh God, break this circuit, get me out of this perpetual trap.  I lose my senses, things blur, I forget almost everything and still I take the bait every stupid time. Every. Stupid. Time.

Procrastination: the iron sceptor of Inadequacy.  Every procrastinator knows their inadequacy and is too good at avoiding facing them.  I’m well advanced in these practices and I have never felt confident at everything (and have felt robbed of my satisfaction where I have felt a little more confident).  What’s more, it continues to deteriorate the little confidence that remains, and makes one wonder what good they are in anything but escaping. And even then, procrastinators have not perfected escapism because our responsibilities find it, bite us hard and remind us again how inadequate we are, even if we make it, just… because it’s been so long since we did well.

I will tell you more about it… later.

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