the dance of the ink riddled fingers

what madness, this.

Posted in how was your day?, thought spills by enisea on 11/08/2013

This madness is snowballing in the most ridiculous, incredible and almost overwhelming ways!

Never have I felt so enthralled, rushed and happy-scared in my life.  As though I were waiting for this wave, lying patiently on a surfboard as the greatest wave I’ve yet to have seen wells behind me.  And having turned around and started paddling, the wave urges my board onwards and I try my hardest to stand to my feet and keep balance as the momentum gains and I find myself gliding in awe to the shore.

Sure, 82 days mightn’t sound like a very short time for you.  But when there are only 40 days until the next school holidays and each working week flies because children move fast and every weekend until then has been planned for.  When those two weeks of school holidays will be heavily spent in painting and moving things into the humble abode my husband-to-be and I will call our home.  And amidst trying to plan for teaching, and a wedding and honeymoon, I’ve got to train for that half marathon I stubbornly signed up for in October.

Needless to say, I have more on my plate than normal and the only way I will survive it all very well is by the grace of God!

In the next five days… I’ve got to write an article for the local paper, prepare for this coming sunday’s kid’s church lesson, get back into marathon training, hand over my teaching roll and train up another, complete my VIT application, meet with a couple of wedding prep people, volunteer at the church’s community feed and find time for one date-night midweek.  I’m a little dizzied by the week already but every time I start to lean towards anxiety, I run quickly into the arms of a saving God – whom none of this phases.  And even when seemingly time poor, while wondering very curiously how everything is going to be paid for, somehow I lack nothing.  Somehow there is enough time/money/love to go around.  Somehow I am still richer now than I ever have been.  The amazing part is that the peace grows every day to swallow the mounting responsibility and ambition that I seem to accumulate.

It appears to me that one can become climatised to madness.  I’ve testing that if you often give occasion to your feet to hit the ground running, they will become used to doing so.  I tell you, with clumsy feet like mine, apparently all things are possible.  It probably helps being in love with a madman whose life is also very very full, who is also extremely ambitious and endlessly encouraging, supportive, constructive and a man who inspires me to run to keep up with him.  This life is crazy, and something would be wrong if it wasn’t.  This love is mad and it keeps me alive and fighting.  This light is refreshing and hope never ceases.

I could wish that everybody tastes madness in life – the good kind, where you can barely understand it but love every moment about it.

I would hate to be overwhelmed by the craziness of this world; to be disheartened and afraid.  Peace is my salvation and a ferocious love guards me from the harshness of uncertainty.  I am certain that I am safe. I am sure that good comes from every circumstance.  Freedom is mine and I am loved.

It exists. It really does.


One Response

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  1. saNdra said, on 05/09/2013 at 10:45 PM

    the joy of tasting freedom and love!! =]

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