the dance of the ink riddled fingers

offended by the world

Posted in epiphany tiffany, he said she said, thought spills by enisea on 30/09/2013

I’ve battled lately with many injustices.  It seems as though there has never been a time where I have been so offended by the world – in its distasteful rituals and popular stupidities.  Suffice to say, it had begun to weigh me down, heavily – sinking my joy and hurting my heart.  It doesn’t help either, to have a memory that reverberates alarm bells that don’t have an off switch and erupt too frequently.  It’s been a little torturous to watch those I love fill their heads with uselessness, caring about inanimate objects and disregarding people, thinking “it’s not that bad” that so many children are robbed of irreplaceable values and spoilt of worthless things.  It scares me that character is secondary to exteriors and that the idols of children and adults alike aren’t usually the most wonderful people on the planet, grateful of life and who purpose to represent love.  I’m quite torn to be in a “free” country where the government speaks horribly of whoever else wants to govern and where the people have little/no respect for leadership, or each other.  And the list goes on.

I’ve been greatly offended by how things are because I’m a dreamer. Growing up, I believed the world could be a better place.  I used to think that people wanted the best for each other and would protect each other from harm.  I still believe that, I’m just continually shocked when that’s not the case.

But thinking this way is killing me.  It is taking a toll on everything in my life, being constantly in pain and up in arms about the inexhaustible injustices that reoccur universally very, very often.  It really only occurred to me this morning how stupid it is for measly me to try to solve these infinite issues in my head or let it make me sick to the bone, all the time.  My gut churns every time I read something that horrifies me – abuse, neglect, selfish agendas, ignorant falsities – especially regarding children.  Especially when I realise that children are growing up in a place that values selfishness and to protect themselves they too must be selfish and take advantage of each other and let the opinions of others govern their lives.  I tell you, I get heartburn every time I listen/watch/read the news, which is why I now avoid the stuff.

I can’t carry this by myself. I am one 24 year old who is already beginning to tire of relentless heartbreak.  Even the joys in my own life (know that they are enormous): upcoming marriage to a very incredible man, the wonderful children I get to work with, the amazing people who surround me, the excitement about life… even they cannot outbalance the violations that I know happen around the world.  This is not the way to live.  I cannot sustain my offence without it taking me out and calling me another victim.  That is not how to win a war against the evil in this world.

And that’s exactly what this is: this is war.  I’ve begun to see more and more how good wars with evil and as viral as evil is, good will still always prevail, albeit it not appearing that way.  I’m beginning to realise that to be overcome with offence by injustice is only going to riddle me with pain.  You cannot fight an enemy by being constantly wounded, nor by being afraid of it, and crying that it should never have happened.  You fight evil with good.  You fight selfishness with love.  You fight weakness with smiles. You fight deception by knowing surely, who you are.

All I needed to know was that it wasn’t ever my job to fight for the planet, it is my job to live with love in my vicinity.  What relief it brought me to remember that of course there are millions of others who are also living love, effectively winning battles on injustice.  It wasn’t ever my own heart that broke easily.  In fact, if I look back – it was me who asked God if I could know even a fraction of his heartbreak for the world.  Hence, now I have somewhat an understanding of a fraction of what God feels about dear Earth and every child.  Spoiler alert, this war – crazily enough, has already been won.  Good has already prevailed, love has already dashed evil.

The battle was never about who would win.  Because as seemingly “close” as it all seemed to ordinary eyes, it wasn’t a close battle.  Love always won, and always won by a mile.

The battle wasn’t over who would win.  It was over you.

We are fighting for you, from every child to every elderly on the planet.  Because Love has won the war, we just want to make sure Love has won you too.

Alas my domain is right here, Melbourne, right now, and as long as I’m grounded here, I (and my husband to be), are going to be trying to win you to love.

I couldn’t be more happy to let God fight my battles for me, and I’ve found freedom in realising I need not be offended by the world!  Rather than being crippled by the stories of cruelty and ruins in humanity, I carry on by giving it to God in prayer and continuing to live as best I can with love.

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do
(Helen Keller)


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