the dance of the ink riddled fingers

looking upwards and onwards!

Posted in pin the tail on the love, thought spills by enisea on 13/01/2014

It seems that life has keep me busy enough to have not been keeping up with social media and the blogosphere.  Sometimes I’m tempted to flash up envy-worthy photos of my life, because I’ve had the time of my life and I’ve never enjoyed living so much before… but then I never get around to it and I try to remind myself that I don’t need people to think I’m cool for me to enjoy life to the full.  I honestly don’t know when I’ll next write, because everything is happening at the same time in brilliant ways, so here’s my life :

I’m into my third month of marriage.  Aside from loving everything about my new life with this madman, I’m trying to be watchful not to make life into too much of a routine, or take it for granted.  Because routines and complacency go hand in hand, and this incredible relationship with my husband is much too precious for me to leave in the hands of autopilot.  Yes, I hear the smirks of older couples saying “just you wait”. But I’m not waiting, I’m acting now to try to teach myself from the beginning, how to live each day as it’s own and not as a carbon copy of the week before.  Sounds like something people start to say when things start feeling older.  But I don’t ever want to feel like things are getting old, ordinary and dull.  It’s almost a phobia.  Even though our life and love together is “new” and nothing yet is quite old or settled, I still try to think of new ways to tell my man I love him.  I’ve wondered before if I’d ever use up all the “new” too early and run out of ideas by the time I’m forty – but I trust that we are as creative as our Creator; and remind myself that the thought of living a boring life is ridiculous and definitely avoidable.  Love has been around for as long as forever and surely there are enough new things to discover about it and to express it by that will exceed a lifetime of enjoyment.

I’m learning that every part of this “moving out” learning process is time consuming and a little tiring.  I still haven’t completely moved out of my parents’ house and need to clean out that old room that reeks of adolescence and clutter.  Learning to keep a little house in order and clean, also time consuming. Oh, and the cooking! Learning is slow, though steady – how I admire my mother.  Lo, having a grateful and encouraging husband helps plenty!

We’ve been talking on health this year and I think it might take years to learn and establish healthy lifestyle trends. Healthy eating, exercising, well resting… on top of a healthy prayer life and social life.  Of course, having just got married, the next step is to expand our family of two, right?  Don’t start spreading rumours, it probably won’t be immediately (there is too much for me to learn).  I’m not keen on bringing a child into the world without first knowing that our lives are at their healthiest and that we are well practiced in living life optimally.  So that when it comes to teaching said lifestyle for a quick little learner, it’s going to be easily reiterated by the example of our own lives. I’ve never been that healthy before – but I’m excited about being.

Then there is social life – and I presume this will take a little time calibrating. Because two have become one, we have to be smart in how socialising fits, because we can’t really maintain doubling in social events. It helps we have overlapping friendships, but uni days are over and I can’t spend every night out with everybody else anymore!

Lastly, this has been a large part of my thoughts today – children.  I have children, none of them “mine”. Something I’m learning about is how much you need to care about children to work with them to achieve everything that humanity hoped would ever be accomplish – which I would fall short of on my own.  This year, my scope of children to care for and be responsible for has widened to an uncomfortable many.  Sometimes I’m amazed that so many people trust me.  Other times, I’m amazed not everything has fallen to pieces when left with me.  And through all my years of working with children, volunteering and having bursting ideas of how to change the world… it is now that I feel least ready.  I felt more ready when I started, and now I’m really learning what it takes – and I’m not in any hurry to jump headlong into it – though the opportunity now arises. But maybe that’s why the time is now, because as I’ve grown a little more into adulthood, I feel more like a child staring at life’s playground with one handful of ideas and another hand holding mine.

But bring on the playground, the falling down, the getting up, the swinging fast and high and the walking around and watching others play.  Bring on the playing with old friends, making new friends, getting scared and getting over it.  Bring on learning to share or protecting and looking after special things.  Give me the chance to prove you wrong or right but smile up to your ears.

There is no other way to explain it – the only way I will make it through 2014 laughing and triumphant, is if Jesus existed, liked me and chose to help me with absolutely everything in life.  Because looking at it now, it could have swallowed me by now. But even if it does, this time next year, at least I’ll be able to tell you what the inside of a whale looks like.

Happy New Year, friends.

Do something stupendous with your life this year…

and tell a great story – and if you can’t find somebody to listen, tell me!

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