the dance of the ink riddled fingers

offended by the world

Posted in epiphany tiffany, he said she said, thought spills by enisea on 30/09/2013

I’ve battled lately with many injustices.  It seems as though there has never been a time where I have been so offended by the world – in its distasteful rituals and popular stupidities.  Suffice to say, it had begun to weigh me down, heavily – sinking my joy and hurting my heart.  It doesn’t help either, to have a memory that reverberates alarm bells that don’t have an off switch and erupt too frequently.  It’s been a little torturous to watch those I love fill their heads with uselessness, caring about inanimate objects and disregarding people, thinking “it’s not that bad” that so many children are robbed of irreplaceable values and spoilt of worthless things.  It scares me that character is secondary to exteriors and that the idols of children and adults alike aren’t usually the most wonderful people on the planet, grateful of life and who purpose to represent love.  I’m quite torn to be in a “free” country where the government speaks horribly of whoever else wants to govern and where the people have little/no respect for leadership, or each other.  And the list goes on.

I’ve been greatly offended by how things are because I’m a dreamer. Growing up, I believed the world could be a better place.  I used to think that people wanted the best for each other and would protect each other from harm.  I still believe that, I’m just continually shocked when that’s not the case.

But thinking this way is killing me.  It is taking a toll on everything in my life, being constantly in pain and up in arms about the inexhaustible injustices that reoccur universally very, very often.  It really only occurred to me this morning how stupid it is for measly me to try to solve these infinite issues in my head or let it make me sick to the bone, all the time.  My gut churns every time I read something that horrifies me – abuse, neglect, selfish agendas, ignorant falsities – especially regarding children.  Especially when I realise that children are growing up in a place that values selfishness and to protect themselves they too must be selfish and take advantage of each other and let the opinions of others govern their lives.  I tell you, I get heartburn every time I listen/watch/read the news, which is why I now avoid the stuff.

I can’t carry this by myself. I am one 24 year old who is already beginning to tire of relentless heartbreak.  Even the joys in my own life (know that they are enormous): upcoming marriage to a very incredible man, the wonderful children I get to work with, the amazing people who surround me, the excitement about life… even they cannot outbalance the violations that I know happen around the world.  This is not the way to live.  I cannot sustain my offence without it taking me out and calling me another victim.  That is not how to win a war against the evil in this world.

And that’s exactly what this is: this is war.  I’ve begun to see more and more how good wars with evil and as viral as evil is, good will still always prevail, albeit it not appearing that way.  I’m beginning to realise that to be overcome with offence by injustice is only going to riddle me with pain.  You cannot fight an enemy by being constantly wounded, nor by being afraid of it, and crying that it should never have happened.  You fight evil with good.  You fight selfishness with love.  You fight weakness with smiles. You fight deception by knowing surely, who you are.

All I needed to know was that it wasn’t ever my job to fight for the planet, it is my job to live with love in my vicinity.  What relief it brought me to remember that of course there are millions of others who are also living love, effectively winning battles on injustice.  It wasn’t ever my own heart that broke easily.  In fact, if I look back – it was me who asked God if I could know even a fraction of his heartbreak for the world.  Hence, now I have somewhat an understanding of a fraction of what God feels about dear Earth and every child.  Spoiler alert, this war – crazily enough, has already been won.  Good has already prevailed, love has already dashed evil.

The battle was never about who would win.  Because as seemingly “close” as it all seemed to ordinary eyes, it wasn’t a close battle.  Love always won, and always won by a mile.

The battle wasn’t over who would win.  It was over you.

We are fighting for you, from every child to every elderly on the planet.  Because Love has won the war, we just want to make sure Love has won you too.

Alas my domain is right here, Melbourne, right now, and as long as I’m grounded here, I (and my husband to be), are going to be trying to win you to love.

I couldn’t be more happy to let God fight my battles for me, and I’ve found freedom in realising I need not be offended by the world!  Rather than being crippled by the stories of cruelty and ruins in humanity, I carry on by giving it to God in prayer and continuing to live as best I can with love.

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do
(Helen Keller)

which passion will prevail? (Lilias Trotter)

Posted in he said she said, heroes of mine by enisea on 17/10/2012

Never has it been so easy to live in half a dozen harmless worlds at once – art, music, social science, games, motoring, the following of some profession, and so on. And between them we run the risk of drifting about, the “good” hiding the “best.”

playground dialogue

Posted in he said she said, how was your day? by enisea on 08/07/2012

N: So, what do you like doing?
A: I like rockstars, famous people, fast music, singing, and dancing.
N: How old are you?
A: Seven.

One difference we often forget to account for between young people and younger people… is honesty.
Sure, you looked unimpressed upon her liking of famous people – but face it, from hollywood to benevolence, we all have a favourite famous person, or few.  We are also attracted to talent and those who are gifted with particular talents; we all appreciate artists of some form or manner – from rockstars to painters.  What’s more we are all entitled to personal preferences in music – with singing and dancing being a universal joy. 

So why, upon first hearing/reading her response, did we flinch and judge her?

Lincoln & Wonder

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 28/11/2011

Lincoln’s mother told me that he had told her that I had told him that rabbits turn into frogs.

I was talking about the tadpoles.  Lincoln was probably still looking at the rabbits.  It made me smile and warmed my heart that this beautiful four year old trusted me so much that he didn’t second guess me and thought to inform his mother of this news.  Which, in reply to her puzzled expression, he matter of factly justified, “Nicole said so”.

– – – – –

W: I’m making the superhero to hit the bad guy!
N: What can the superhero do?
W: He can fly!
N: What did the bad guy do wrong?
W: He made me laugh…
N: Was it a bad laugh?
W: He also laughed at the superhero.

Need I justify any longer why everyone ought to have a conversation with a four year old?

Gracie, 4.

Posted in epiphany tiffany, he said she said, heroes of mine, how was your day? by enisea on 22/09/2011

Gracie swings her lunchbox, holding it by the handle, armed with contagious smile.
G: Knock, knock!
N: Who’s there?
G: Lunchbox!
N: Lunchbox who?
G: Luuunchhboxx… um, couldn’t stop, eating LUNCH!

1 second pause. Both laugh.

G: What goes down and down and down?
N: …I don’t know.
G: A HOLE!
N: Hahahaha, A HOLE! Of course!

I later heard the complete hole joke from her older brother.

Joke/riddle: What gets bigger as it goes down?
Answer: A hole (take a second to think about it and then sigh “Ohh, yes”)

When you’re a gorgeous smiling four year old with the opportunity to crack a joke, it’s impossible to be refused.
A child’s sense of humour/attempt at humour is a blessed thing!

Sometimes it is not the clever things that impress us more. 

all the single ladies

Posted in he said she said, heroes of mine, pin the tail on the love by enisea on 25/07/2011

This gave me all the hope in the world!  There is wonderful wordplay in this piece! I’ve probably watched it about fifteen times in total, especially in the times I’m a little more tempted to go along with some flirtatious shallow entertainment.  Hahaha, I find myself rather embarassed to talk about singleness, as if I were embarassed to mention that I desire to be part of a companionship.  But I thought to put this up because it encouraged me incredibly and I really shouldn’t let my own embarassment stop me from encouraging other Christ-loving single ladies and nodding hope their way.

 The pressure of this society to believe that the answer to life’s questions and cravings are simply fulfilled in finding “Mr. Right” is dreadfully deceptive.  The only human being who ever was a perfect answer was/is Jesus Christ, but I’m sure we can hope that one close enough to Him finds us, hey? 

Anyway, enjoy, I can think of three people who would thoroughly appreciate this, for you three ;) “I tried to told ya’ll”

Hey Ya, transform my marriage?

Posted in he said she said, pin the tail on the love, thought spills by enisea on 23/07/2011
"I'm not scared of you! Stop it!"

Apologies! I couldn’t resist! My cousins always post silly videos like this on facebook and this time I fell for the temptation of watching a couple… to my complete glee!!  The first, adorably hilarious!  The second, questionably unethical but stil noticably cute.  While on this thought of ridiculous videos. I watched transformers3; whoever told me it was good or great has a very low standard of cinematic experience.  So many holes in the plot and unexplained and stupid directions to the eventual ending. How do robots age? And why do they have beards? Why was Optimus stuck in string? Why why why? So ridiculous. Oh yeah…ps: spoiler alert. Good prevails and the bad guys lose. As opposed to the cartoon movie where there were mostly transformers and few humans, in this latest trilogy, there are too many humans and a marvelous lack of transformers.  It’s not even as “action packed” as I was told it was. Fortunately for me I was told repeatedly how bad it was going to be and therefore lowered my expectations as much as I knew how, and so wasn’t actually disappointed, merely unimpressed.

contemplate yourself. we are not forever.

i love aus hip hop. sober thoughts tonight.



sayeth my lecturer

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 09/03/2011

“Comfort diminishes passion.”

Life must be assuming greater and greater potentials for passion then, hey?

wid the lid

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 25/02/2011

H: Can you pwease put the wid on for me?
N: Sure! …

N: Hey Hudson, can you say… ‘Lizard?’
H: WIZARD!

This short exchange totally made my today. T’was the end of another kindergarten session and beautiful Hudson made my every fibre giggle. I didn’t know what to expect, I only wanted him to confirm what part of his speech I wanted to improve, and ‘lizard’ was the first ‘L’ word to come to mind – it happened so perfectly.  The fact that the incorrectly enunciated word still made sense, emphasised by his buzzing enthusiasm to mimic me, warmed my heart more than the sunshine we sat in.

To quote a hilarious excerpt from the ‘overheard’ column in Melbourne’s MX last week: “I want kids so badly my womb is throbbing”

I empathise completely.

chef sister

Posted in he said she said, how was your day? by enisea on 08/02/2011

The junior usually finds ample opportunity to joke over me, this sms had me chuckling everytime I remembered it.

A: I made dumping!

N: Hahahaha, that’s gross.
A: Dumplings idiot.

yesterday’s heartbreaker

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 07/02/2011

The context: 3 year old Jasmine’s just hugged her brother after kids church.

N: HEY JASMINE, WHERE’S MY HUG?
J: I dunno? *brings arms up in a shrug*
N: Jasmine, where’s my hug?
J: I dunno!
N: Jasmine!
J: I dunno where your hug is. Your hug is nowhere.
N: FINE!

J: What?

romans13:8

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 26/01/2011

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

one thessalonians five verses

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 04/11/2010

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

you’re free-falling from your high-flyer, not long till you hit ground

Posted in he said she said by enisea on 09/07/2010

“Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open”

THOMAS DEWAR